PVLF 2025

Interview with Thanuja Singam, Author “Thanuja: A Memoir of Migration and Transition

Discover Thanuja Singam's journey as a Tamil refugee and trans woman in her memoir. An inspiring story of resilience, identity, and activism.
on Jan 03, 2025

Interview with Thanuja Singam | Frontlist

Interview with Thanuja Singam, Author “Thanuja: A Memoir of Migration and Transition

Thanuja is a dental hygienist in Düsseldorf committed to advancing her education with plans to further her studies in Healthcare Management. However, her true passion lies beyond the walls of academia and dental practice. She has dedicated herself to activism focusing on the LGBTQIA+ community, a cause close to her heart. Through social media, she has built a platform to amplify voices, spread awareness and foster understanding and acceptance. With over a million followers on TikTok, 220,000 subscribers on YouTube, and substantial followings on Instagram, Facebook and other platforms, she has been able to reach and impact countless lives. Her work has not gone unnoticed; she was honoured with YouTube's Silver Button, a testament to the growing acceptance and support of the LGBTQIA+ community.

Kiran Keshavamurthy is Assistant Professor of English at the Department of Humanities and Social Sciences, IIT Guwahati. He is a scholar of modern Tamil literature and author of Beyond Desire: Sexuality in Modern Tamil Literature.

Frontlist: Your memoir chronicles your journey as a Tamil refugee and a trans woman. How did writing this book become a transformative experience and mark a significant “new beginning” in your life?

Thanuja: Writing A Memoir of Migration and Transition was both cathartic and empowering. It forced me to confront the fragmented pieces of my identity—being a Tamil refugee, a survivor of war and displacement, and a trans woman. Recalling these experiences allowed me to process my grief, trauma, and triumphs. It wasn’t just about telling my story; it was about reclaiming it. By doing so, I found a “new beginning,” where I could finally own my narrative with pride and use it to inspire others in similar situations. Writing allowed me to transform pain into purpose.

I also felt a deep urgency to tell this story because I was scared that no one would know about the pain Sri Lankan Tamil refugees endured. The displacement we faced didn’t just uproot us physically—it scarred us mentally, affecting our daily lives in profound ways. I wanted to shed light on the intergenerational trauma caused by war and exile and how it shaped our identities and relationships. This book is my way of preserving our collective history while giving a voice to those who have been silenced for far too long.

Frontlist: Mainstream culture often struggles to grasp the nuances of the trans experience. What do you feel are the most persistent misconceptions about the life of a trans woman, and how does your memoir confront and dismantle these stereotypes?

Thanuja: One of the most persistent misconceptions is that trans women’s lives are defined solely by their gender identity. Mainstream culture often reduces us to caricatures—either victims or overly confident trailblazers—failing to see our complexity as people with careers, passions, relationships, and struggles. Another harmful myth is that being trans is a choice rather than an innate truth.

In my memoir, I weave in the everyday aspects of my life—family dynamics, friendships, and personal growth—to show that my transness is one part of a larger, multifaceted story. I also wrote in detail about the abuse many trans kids endure when they are trapped in male bodies as children. It’s crucial for mainstream society to understand the lasting harm this type of abuse—often inflicted by grown men—has on our mental health and sense of self.

I also shed light on the abuse we face in relationships, both financially and emotionally. These experiences are often overlooked, but they are integral to understanding the challenges trans women navigate in seeking love and stability.

An important part of my memoir is discussing the physical and emotional impact of the transition process on our bodies. I delve into the effects of taking estrogen, the invasive surgeries we undergo, and the journey to achieve the body we’ve always wanted. By sharing these truths, I hope to dismantle misconceptions and show the immense courage, resilience, and complexity of trans lives.

Frontlist: Family life, sexual awakening, and identity are central themes in your book. How did exploring these aspects deepen your understanding of yourself and influence your journey during and after your gender transition?

Thanuja: Delving into these themes was both enlightening and challenging. Writing about my family helped me understand how cultural expectations and love coexisted in our dynamic, even when they conflicted with my identity. However, I don’t have strong contact with my family now because, after writing the book, I started caring about myself more. There is still hate and transphobia within my family, and I have come to accept that I might always be treated as an unwanted child. To protect myself from further hurt, I made the difficult choice to distance myself from some close family members.

Reflecting on my sexual awakening allowed me to embrace the beauty of my desires—something I once felt ashamed about. The fact that I started truly loving myself gave me the strength to say “no,” a strength I didn’t have as a teenager or in my early twenties. This realization was empowering, helping me take control of my boundaries and my life.

Exploring identity was particularly transformative. I have become a strong, resilient woman who no longer wastes time on superficial feelings or emotions that drain me. Instead, I am focused on my career and my goals, striving to be an example for others, especially those who may feel lost or unsupported on their own journeys. This deeper understanding of myself continues to shape how I navigate the world with purpose and determination.

Frontlist: Writing a memoir means revisiting some of the most difficult parts of your life. How did you strike a balance between sharing deeply personal experiences and writing a book that resonates with a broader audience?

Thanuja: Striking this balance was one of the hardest parts of writing the book. I wanted to be honest without overwhelming readers with raw pain. I focused on universal themes—resilience, belonging, and self-discovery—while ensuring that my unique experiences as a Tamil trans woman came through. My goal was to invite readers into my world in a way that felt personal yet relatable. By blending vulnerability with a sense of purpose, I hoped to create a memoir that resonates with readers from all walks of life.

However, writing this book was also incredibly hard for me. While it helped me heal many wounds, it also brought to the surface bad experiences I had buried deep in my heart. One of the most challenging moments was when I wrote about my childhood abuse. It pushed me to confront memories of an abusive cousin who ruined my childhood with his terrible intentions. Writing about it gave me the courage to look for him with the help of some family members and initiate something like a Me Too moment within my own family.

When I finally confronted him and asked, “Why me?” his answer was devastating: “You were the only one available.” That response broke me because it showed just how little regard he had for the pain he caused and the harm he inflicted. It was one of the most shattering experiences I faced during this process, a stark reminder of how the abuser’s lack of accountability can continue to wound the survivor.

Even so, confronting these truths through writing became a way of reclaiming my power and exposing the reality of what many endure in silence. It reminded me why sharing these stories is so important—not just for my healing, but for others who may feel seen and supported in their own struggles.

Frontlist: Marginalized voices are still underrepresented. In your view, what steps can publishers and authors take to create a more inclusive literary ecosystem that amplifies diverse stories like yours?

Thanuja: Change begins with representation. Publishers need to actively seek out marginalized voices and provide the resources to support them—not just in publishing but in marketing and distribution. Authors can contribute by championing each other’s work, mentoring emerging writers, and ensuring that diverse perspectives are woven into their own storytelling. For me, writing this memoir was also about opening a door for others to step through. By amplifying stories like mine, we can build a literary world that reflects the richness and diversity of human experience.

It’s also crucial for established authors to work hand in hand with marginalized communities to uplift them. I was fortunate to have Shobha Shakthi, a renowned author, who believed in me and encouraged me to write my story. He told me, “You have to write your autobiography to show the world what a Sri Lankan Tamil refugee transgender has gone through.” His belief in my story empowered me to take this journey, and it’s a reminder of the impact mentorship can have on emerging writers.

I believe publishers and literary institutions should take proactive steps to call for contributions from marginalized communities. Hosting workshops and training programs can help these individuals understand the power of storytelling and develop their skills. Writing can be a transformative tool for self-expression and advocacy, and by providing platforms and opportunities, we can ensure that voices from the margins are heard and celebrated.

Frontlist: For readers who may not be familiar with the realities of the trans experience, what key insights or messages do you hope your memoir will impart? How do you believe it can pave the way for greater empathy, acceptance, and understanding?

Thanuja: I want readers to understand that the trans experience isn’t a monolith. It’s deeply personal, shaped by culture, history, and individual circumstances. My hope is that readers walk away with greater empathy for those who live on society’s margins, whether because of gender identity, race, or displacement. More than anything, I want my memoir to spark conversations—about acceptance, resilience, and the beauty of living authentically. I believe stories have the power to change hearts, and I hope mine paves the way for a more compassionate and inclusive world.

A transphobic person is often shaped by society—a society that has taught children to hate or fear trans people for over 400 years. However, people harboring hate need to understand the real impact of their actions and attitudes. They should know what a trans woman goes through because of their hatefulness.

Every parent who throws their child out of the house just because they want to live authentically as a woman should stop and consider what happens to their child when they are left alone on the streets. The suffering, vulnerability, and danger they endure are unimaginable. Schools, too, must realize the importance of taking special care of LGBTQ kids, ensuring they feel safe, accepted, and valued. Offices must also understand why hiring trans individuals is not only about diversity but about giving capable, talented people an equal chance at dignity and success.

Change is happening, albeit slowly, and that’s one of the reasons I stepped out of my comfort zone to write this memoir. I shared experiences I wouldn’t even discuss with my best friend because I believe these stories need to be heard. I hope my book serves as a small step toward a world where empathy and humanity prevail over ignorance and prejudice.